How It Goes

I really like this article, it's pretty interesting. Click it (you know you want to)!! TheFabKid

Lately I don't really know how to feel about anything anymore. Not in a bad way, but just in a way. That's all.

Something that I've recently affirmed myself to is not to hang around shitty people Or, really just people that make me feel shitty about myself, make me feel like less than I am. Now this isn't about just one person, or people, or situation, it's just a life thing. For me, I act like I have so much more self-esteem than I actually do. I'm honestly one of the most self-conscious people I know, but probably not a ton of people may know that. But I haven't always been like that. There are a ton of times where there are people, even ones that I'm friends with, that just sometimes make me feel crappy about myself, and I'm sick and tired of feeling that way. I love days where I feel great about myself, days when I can pick out all of what I think are great qualities about myself and just generally feel wonderful. I mean, everyone probably loves those days, 'cause it's when you feel like a gem and that's just honestly a great feeling. So yeah. That...

So, I'm really actually quite happy with everything in my life that's happening right now, but there's something missing. I'm itching for a cuddle. Someone to cuddle with, or human contact, or something. I'm just so used to living with other people, being in the same space with at least six others. and now I'm all on my lonesome. And I really wanted someone to cuddle wiht last night. And possibly tonight. So yeah. TheFabKid *As for the title, I have a rather large, floppy, stuffed moose named Gerard (after Gerard Butler) who is soft and wonderful but just isn't cutting it in the cuddling department at the moment.

Guys, I'm an RA now. This happened about 7 hours ago and it still hasn't really sunk in yet. So yeah, it's been an interesting day to say the least.

Freehanding a new friendship bracelet design.

Maybe since I'm only a half and hour into my first shift, I shouldn't be throwing away my blogging so early, but I'm gonna do it anyway. So hey all! It's been a crazy couple days here. Saturday was when both the kids and I left camp. I got home by 7, didn't bother unpacking, just ate and went to bed. Sunday was spent packing for college, which considering how much I get distracted and like to procrastinate, took a while. Monday I got up late, had to finish packing, got visited by both my aunt and best friend and left for college. I had to erie for four hours (or more) in the pouring rain. I got lost and stressed out, but finally made it to LTU, where I proceeded to get soaking wet when I was moving most of my stuff in (oh joy).  And now I'm working. So yeah, crazy couple of days there. My life is basically a whirlwind, forever and always. But it's so nice to get back to school! I didn't realize quite how much I liked it here until I got back. I got to ...

So guys, I really like to eat my feelings. It happens a lot, and today I had a lot of feelings and then proceeded to eat them out of my ratchet bag of candy that I labeled my shame candy. I even cried a little when I ate it (the crying was from something else, not the candy eating). The reason I have so many feelings? I left camp today. Packing up my car and leaving was possibly one of the most soul-crushing things I've done in the past year. The thing is the silent car ride home was horrible. This is the first time that I've driven myself to and from camp alone and it was just so sad. No friends to talk to, no family to regale with camp stories to keep my mind off the fact that I was going, just a bad time all around. So yeah, needless to say, I'm all around in a PCD stage. (Post Camp Depression). And in the wise words of Winnie The Pooh: