I'm Slipping and now Everything is Falling

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How can one person manage to fuck up so goddamn much in life? It's like I'm watching myself purposely destroying everything I have, but not doing anything about it because I don't even know how to fix it.

I'm so afraid of failing (even though I think I am). My classes, my job, I'm doing so horribly in both of those right now. I think I've just done so shittily on my finals that I'm afraid of failing the semester. Even more than that, I'm afraid that I'm not smart enough for this school. Like, maybe the farce (i.e. my being here and trying to major in architecture and having these friends and this life) is over.

I just don't know how to fix anything (everything) that's gone wrong, and once I do try I can't focus, and then all I want to do is go back to my bed and read and sleep for days.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I be better?

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