Louder

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I have people who tell me that they think I can do great things, that they know I can do it.

It's 2:30 AM and I just want to talk to my friends, but I don't think anyone is still up, so instead I'm just going to sit in my bed and try to drown out the sound of my own brain by listening to my music loud enough that it hurts.

I found out tonight that I can't try and run for an LT position in my sorority because my GPA is .05 too low (and I'm trying so hard, to do better with everything, really trying), because last semester was just really tough (in more ways than one). Before that I was at a 2.95, and it just really really sucks. You see, there was a particular position that I really wanted to run for on LT, and now I can't.

So I can't be on LT. I didn't get a little this year. And I didn't get the RA position back. And I'm really worried about a couple of my classes. And now I don't have a car and I've been feeling really trapped here lately, and now I don't even have my bike for a while (and all I want to do is run away). It's just that I get told these certain things (lies) and then bad things happen and I just feel like I suck at being this me, this me that's going to college and is in a sorority and has a job.
And I hate it.

I wish my music could be louder.

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