I'm Too Lazy To Actually Title This Well
There's something I want to talk about, a topic I want to throw out there. It's about me, and my current person status, and I'm afraid to publicly talk about it because maybe I'm over-analyzing the situation. I could be completely off the spectrum about what happening, but I want to talk about it anyway.
I'm afraid that I might be Depressed, as in the actual, clinical meaning of the word, the kind that deserves a capital D. In a million years I would never have guessed that it would be me saying that because I am happy a lot, and sad sometimes, but that's just normal for any person. But I was curious, and I looked it up online (Stupid I know. Of medical diagnoses found online I am very skeptical. I know that information can be interpreted in a number of ways, and that even though you think you know the meaning of what you're reading, it doesn't mean that you actually do). And the signs and symptoms they mentioned in a couple different articles fit me to a T, stuff that I hadn't really noticed was weird until I saw it in writing. And it just all fits, so I'm scared that I'm depressed because if it's true then I don't know what to do.
If I have a cold, I know how to deal with it-physical sickness is no big deal. In life I always try to stay upbeat and positive about at least something, no matter how small. I like being happy, I force myself to make it happen. Something like depression is hard to handle. I wouldn't know the first thing to do about it. And why go to a doctor? I'm probably wrong about the whole thing, so going to a doctor would be pointless.
My friends might be thinking at this point about how I'm either stupid or kind of crazy for thinking like this, and that's why I don't want to talk to anyone about it. When I'm in public, I can be really good at pretending like things are a lot better than they actually are. I like to complain, but actually talking to people about my Life Problems? That's on the same level as crying in public-I just don't do it that often with very many people. It's a rare thing.
So yeah. I guess that's it for me.
I'm afraid that I might be Depressed, as in the actual, clinical meaning of the word, the kind that deserves a capital D. In a million years I would never have guessed that it would be me saying that because I am happy a lot, and sad sometimes, but that's just normal for any person. But I was curious, and I looked it up online (Stupid I know. Of medical diagnoses found online I am very skeptical. I know that information can be interpreted in a number of ways, and that even though you think you know the meaning of what you're reading, it doesn't mean that you actually do). And the signs and symptoms they mentioned in a couple different articles fit me to a T, stuff that I hadn't really noticed was weird until I saw it in writing. And it just all fits, so I'm scared that I'm depressed because if it's true then I don't know what to do.
If I have a cold, I know how to deal with it-physical sickness is no big deal. In life I always try to stay upbeat and positive about at least something, no matter how small. I like being happy, I force myself to make it happen. Something like depression is hard to handle. I wouldn't know the first thing to do about it. And why go to a doctor? I'm probably wrong about the whole thing, so going to a doctor would be pointless.
My friends might be thinking at this point about how I'm either stupid or kind of crazy for thinking like this, and that's why I don't want to talk to anyone about it. When I'm in public, I can be really good at pretending like things are a lot better than they actually are. I like to complain, but actually talking to people about my Life Problems? That's on the same level as crying in public-I just don't do it that often with very many people. It's a rare thing.
So yeah. I guess that's it for me.
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